I'll never forget G talking to me during the surgery. Dr. Deaton and his team were wonderful, but to have my husband talking me through everything was priceless. As she came out, G said, "She's out honey and I've seen smaller." She didn't cry for us, but her team of medical professionals whisked her away and started working on her. They told us later that she did let out a cry for them-- a beautiful sound to let us know the lungs were working to some capacity. They sewed me back up and continued to work on her.
I'm so glad we have video of the first time they wheeled our beds together. She was sooooo tiny but she was stable. Praise God. Her blood pressures were off, her sugars were low, she was on a ventilator, and she had so many tubes and wires around her I could barely see her, BUT SHE WAS ALIVE. A whopping 1 pound and 4.5 ounces.
The first night was the scariest. I was still on a heavy dose of the magnesium and G was back in the room staying on the lovely pull out sofa when the NICU docs came in around 2am to say Elise was showing seizure activity. I'll never forget this night for as long as I live. We both looked at each other and couldn't speak nor react. We were numb to all of this. Daughter? What daughter? Seizure activity? We knew this wasn't good news, but couldn't react past that thought.
I could not physically run to the NICU, nor could I mentally. Neither could G. It was probably a blessing we were both exhausted beyond measure...or we would have been nervous wrecks, as any parents are when they hear "seizure activity." We somehow put our faith in the NICU docs and thought "they will do what needs to be done." They sure did. The head scan proved the next day that there was no head bleeding and Elise was still in stable condition.
The next day I came off the magnesium and came "back to earth." If you've ever been on magnesium sulfate you know exactly what I'm talking about. I told myself I HAD to get stronger...because my baby girl was being strong for me. Not only had my body changed in a matter of seconds, but so had my life. I was no longer teaching, no longer pregnant and now I needed to start making breast milk. The first day was rough with little to no milk, but I'm sticking with the every 2 hour pump schedule. Today, I'm up to almost one ounce per every 2 hours. After all, my body is screaming, "I thought I had 15 more weeks to make milk?!" ha! Think again! Pumping has also made me feel extremely helpful to my little one. I may have had to spit her out 15 weeks early, but pretty soon she will get little droplets of my milk which will make her continue to get stronger.
In reality, she has gotten stronger everyday. She was on the maximum of 2 blood pressure meds and has totally weened herself off both of them!! She was on about 33% oxygen and down to 21% which is equivalent to room air. They have cut her hydrocortisone shots in half and she continues to make wet diapers :) What a strong little girl we have. All we can say is: She has Lisa Raynor's spirit! Nana Lisa truly did prepare her...my mom was "there" they whole time during delivery and the first few critical days. I continue to feel her presence when I need it the most. Even though it happened quicker than we wanted, Daddy and Mommy thank God that Elise had (and still has) a precious guardian angel that made her prepared for this world.