Thursday, February 23, 2012

Pay it Forward

A little update on our sweet pea: She continues to do so so well for her age. Day #2 of feedings went great! Her chest X-ray still looks a little cloudy on the right side after surgery, so they have her laying on her left side in hopes to open up the right lung. We know she will do it...just on her own timing. She continues to make good wet diapers and is snug as a bug in a rug as I type this post. One day at a time...and this so happens to be another great day for the books. Thank you God.

Today was my "day at home." I think our "every other NICU day" schedule is going to work for us. Although I thought about our little tiger a million times today, I got a lot of things done. The most fun task was working on Miss Elise's nursery. I am going to have our amazing handyman build her some book shelves and build up her closet. The previous owners did not do anything to the rooms upstairs. Consequently, her closet did not even have a rack for her little clothes. It was fun today designing things and thinking about the day we will bring her home! I know that day is far off, but thinking about carrying her into this home for the first time gets me very, very excited.

The painter also came by with paint samples. Luckily, my good friend Debbie happened to stop by at the same time. She helped me pick the right colors for the walls. As the nursery progresses, I will post pictures. I've pulled a few ideas off Pinterest that I can't wait to show you all. Fun! Fun!

I did have a panic moment to the day. I was on a 4 mile power walk with Holly when my phone rang and it was the NICU. We stopped dead in our tracks and I answered (slightly out of breath for many reasons!) All I heard was, "Mrs. Olsen? This is Dr. P from St. Vincent's NICU." [gulp]. Then he said, "I just wanted to call and give you today's update on your sweet daughter." WHHHHEWWW. I forgot, in my moment of panic, that her neonatologist will always call and give me a doctor report any day that I am not in the NICU. Although extremely grateful for his call, I do need to work on my panic mode when I look down at my cell phone and it says, "NICU calling..." :)

The best part of today was hearing from some good friends, who are mothers of preemies, that happened to stop by the house. I was very personal in last night's post about the issues I've been having with guilt. To hear from the other preemie moms that my feelings are completely NORMAL really helped me take a deep breath today and say, "I am okay. I can do this." Although I know I have every right to cry at the drop of a hat, when I do have my "emotional waves" I never enjoy them. Who would? They scare me. They make me miss my mother terribly, and they make me feel the world is on top of me rather than me being on top of the world as I should be. I did just give birth to our first child, and she is making good progress!

I usually can talk myself through these waves or G can help talk me through them. I feel so blessed to have this tremendous amount of support. My heart aches for those mommies that simply do not have strong support and go through this very intense life change alone.

One of the reasons I write this blog is to possibly reach out to another NICU mommy that might be going through a similar circumstance. I know many mommies have contacted me that have had similar stories as mine, and it has been extremely helpful to bounce questions off them or hear them say, "You will get past this time and look back and think, "How did I get through that!?"" If I can ever "pay it forward" to another NICU mommy, I would be forever grateful.

I hope my "pay it forward" day comes when Elise is a blabbing 3 years old...running around this living room with a huge smile on her face. THAT I crave. THAT I WILL GET.

Tomorrow I get to spend the day with my little tiger! Nights like tonight are always like Christmas Eve....very excited to wake up the next morning; not for a Christmas tree...but I do have a present waiting for me.

The present just so happens to be 1 pound 7 ounces today!

G & J & E


  1. Oh Sweet love... I can only imagine the panic mode when you see NICU calling! Oh I so would too! LOL! BUT... she is in such amazing hands.

    I have no doubt that you are paying it forward! Sometimes we may not understand what we are going through, but God has a reason. I spoke with a client last night for example that is struggling with PPD nearly as much as I did. I spent two hours telling her my story and getting her to open up about hers. I never thought me going through something so terrible would help someone else, but I've had several people come to me for help and encouragement that these rainy and stormy days having a beautiful rainbow of sunshine at the end of them! :) You are that to other moms going through the same thing or the ones that will go through it.

    I just love you to pieces and I can't say enough what an amazing mommy you are...Miss. Elise is so very lucky!

    Lots of love & Prayers!

  2. Another great post from Elise's mommy!! I think you are amazing!! I am so happy that each day is a brand new day with good news and more hope. Her nursery is going to be beautiful...I can only imagine the joy on the day she comes home! It will be here before you know it, Jess! Hooray...she gained a little more...1 lb. 7 oz. now!! I'm so thankful for all your blessings! Love you!! -Rosie